Supporting LGBTQ Youth

“All young people, regardless of sexual orientation or identity, deserve a safe and supportive environment in which to achieve their full potential.”  – Harvey Milk 

When it comes to support for LGBTQ individuals, we have made significant progress in the last couple of decades. It is a much safer and more supportive world for queer people than it was just a short time ago. LGBTQ youth are able to come out much earlier than they did before, giving them a stronger start on the road to self-acceptance and self-care.  

The work, however, is not done, because LGBTQ youth are still at greater risk for mental health issues than their heterosexual counterparts. The American Psychiatric Association found that “LGBTQ individuals are 2.5 times more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and substance misuse compared with heterosexual individuals.” 

In their 2022 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health, the Trevor Project found that 45% of queer youth considered suicide in the last year. Trans youth in particular were at an even greater risk for anxiety, depression, and suicide.  

However, the Trevor Project also found that LGBTQ youth who experienced high levels of support from their families and school systems were less than half likely to attempt suicide than those who did not.  

This means that how we treat our LGBTQ youth matters. Whether we are family members, friends, or individuals in school systems or healthcare systems, we have an opportunity to make a significant impact on the lives of queer youth.  

So what can an ally do to support LGBTQ youth?  

Be mindful of your reaction. Having a child come out can be unexpected and many people need time to process the news. Take time to work through it on your own so that your emotions don’t make the issue more about you than it is about them. It can also be helpful to find a mental health therapist that you can trust to work through some of these emotions.  

Create a receptive environment. Coming out takes an enormous amount of courage. It is also incredibly vulnerable, and youth may fear losing their relationships in the process. Make it clear that your love for them has not changed. Give them a space to express themselves without judgments or adding your own commentary. Just listen and be a safe space. Understand that coming out is also a process of self-discovery. Allow them room to explore their identities and evolve as a person over time.  

Remember that they are still the same person as before. The only thing that has changed is that you know more of who they are beneath the surface. Try to create a sense of normalcy in the relationship. So many things are changing in the coming out process and a relationship that is stable and consistent is invaluable. 

Be an active supporter. Don’t be afraid to step in and help throughout this process. Many queer youth can benefit from additional resources clubs and support groups, as well as an understanding mental health therapist. Make it clear in public as well as in private that you stand behind them and will be there to support them.  

And what if you’re one of the many queer people out there needing help? What can you do to make a better life for yourself? 

Give yourself some self-compassion. This is hard, and it says so much that you’ve gotten this far. Being authentic always feels risky and a bit vulnerable. Make sure that you’re giving yourself some love and support in the same way that you would a close friend.  

Figure out who your go-to safe people are and lean on them for support. Not everyone will be a safe space, but there will certainly be some people who can be counted on to be supportive and compassionate. Figure out who that is and be intentional about connecting with them throughout this process. No one needs to walk this road alone.  

Understand that this is new for some folks, and they might say the wrong thing. Especially if friends or family have never interacted with a queer person, they will be learning a lot. Because of this, they may not get it right all the time. Have some patience for them. Certainly, we should never tolerate abusive behavior of any kind. We all deserve to be treated with respect. But if people are sincerely trying to reach out, try to meet them in the middle.  

Take it a day at a time and reach out for help. Coming out is an emotional rollercoaster. Everything you’re feeling is normal. Allow yourself to feel your feelings, even the painful ones, but also know that they’re not permanent. It’s also a great idea to reach out to a mental health therapist. They are trained to help people going through difficult change and a good therapist can make all the difference.